With Michael Bay’s live-action Transformers movie set to pulverize every multiplex in America July 3, we recently called one of the movie’s flesh-and-blood stars, Megan Fox, for a special summertime chat. Curious confessions about fat dogs, giant bananas and killer sharks ensued …

Blender: Where are you right now, and what can you see?
Megan Fox: I?m on my balcony at my house in the Hills, and I can see my English bulldogs, my pool and the Hollywood sign. Spanky is the oldest bulldog. I have six dogs, and when I feed the others, Spanky eats out of everybody?s dish. He?s incredibly overweight.

B: What?s the best thing about global warming?
MF: If global warming were to cause the coast of California to fall into the ocean, my house would become oceanfront property, which I?m all about.

B: Are you more of an Optimus Prime girl or a Megatron girl?
MF: In the film, I?m an Optimus Prime girl because I?m on his team. But in real life, I would go with Megatron. I?m always forced to behave and be nice to people, so being bad is very appealing. Everybody longs for the day when they could be a real asshole if they felt like it.

B: Have you ever been mauled by a sea-dwelling creature?
MF: No, but two years ago I was surfing in Malibu and I got bumped by something incredibly large. My board hit me in the face and I was bleeding. I have no proof, but I?m pretty sure it was a great white shark. Now, if I go into the ocean up to my shoulders, I start having a panic attack and breaking out into a sweat.

B: Ever pee in the swimming pool?
MF: Oh yeah, I still pee in the swimming pool. It?s full of chlorine ? that kills all the bacteria as soon as you do it.

B: What was your worst family vacation?
MF: When I was 10, my parents and I drove through the Southern states. I have a real phobia of hearing people breathe, especially if I?m trying to sleep ? it really upsets me. I had to share a hotel room with my parents and listen to the both of them breathe. It was torture.

B: The wildest summer camp experience you ever had?
MF: It wasn?t so wild, but I actually went to Bible camp when I was 11. Bible camp is fucking awesome ? you sing songs about Jesus and then you do arts and crafts about Jesus. One night, I snuck out to meet the first boy I ever had a crush on. Each cabin had two counselors, so it was really difficult. I had the balls, but he was too chickenshit. After a couple of hours, I snuck back into bed and went back to sleep, very disappointed.

B: Your worst summer job?
MF: I worked at a Tropical Smoothie in Florida when I was 15. I would sometimes have to go out by the street in a gigantic banana costume and dance to try to get customers to come in. There was no anonymity ? the costume had a big hole cut out so that everyone could see your face. My friends from school would drive back and forth and yell all kinds of awesome obscenities at me.